Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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