she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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