just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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