Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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