i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
