and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
