It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
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