So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
