Can i not drive my cunt home
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
