Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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