you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
