Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
