I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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