i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Randomize