Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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