they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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