drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
