Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
My ass is underappreciated
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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