Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I'm jealous of your bromance
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
