Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
you never un-have a 4some
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
