Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
