I think im going to throw up on grandma
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
