so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
