if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
