She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
