i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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