Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Randomize
