hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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