You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
