Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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