Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
