dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Randomize
