I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize