I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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