I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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