I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
