i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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