He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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