dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
