I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
