too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
