what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I FOUND THE LEGS
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
