He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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