so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
