I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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