I want to stick my p in your. b.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize