You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
