she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
