there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
