Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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