At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
this boner is exhausting
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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