I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
