I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
