Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
This baby is an asshole
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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