oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
not ubering you a puppy
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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