I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
