you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
