apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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