you win again, gameday.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
