my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize