by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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