i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
