This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
