Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
