i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
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