I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
