Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
You made out with two different species that night
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
