I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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